Sunday, 8 May 2016

Men when are you going to start having your conversations?

A man killed his wife. Women are going nuts. I would have been happier if it was the men that are shouting and sharing it and making comments and suggesting what should happen to the killer or scolding themselves. No it is the woman who are shouting. The same helpless women who are victims or likely to be victims.  The same women who are probably suffering one abuse or the other, the same women who will leave the house and the man will marry another and continue like everything is alright. The same women who are being told daily harassed that marriage is for better and for worse and she must remain in abusive relationship and pray for her husband.

Is Domestic Violence (DV) the only form of abuse against women.? I believe we are talking about Domestic Violence DV because it leads to instant death.

There are other abuses;

This abuse for me is far worse. It strips the woman of everything. It gives her complex, makes her weak, makes her unsure of herself and incapable of thinking for herself.

The woman always thinks other people are laughing at her because her husband has dismissed everything about her and made her believe that she was not good for anything; the commonest of which is sex!

This woman tries everything to satisfy her man but she fails. The man is making fun of her. Treating her like dirt.

He discovers what she hates most and taunts her with that. If he observed that she hates it if he does not eat her food, he gets angry and stops eating.

Some of the more wicked ones flaunt their ‘gold digging girlfriends' and lace it up with threats of bringing her in as second wives or if he is ‘wise’ to be a gigolo flaunts the sugar mummy and dares her to leave.

These women are psychologically traumatized, depressed and sad and after a lot time of abuse dies one day from an ailment. You can give a name to what she suffered. It can be years of high blood pressure that has weakened her heart and her life. It can be ulcer because of not eating food. It can be madness or it can be a nervous breakdown.

The man is lucky because he does not have to be accused of killing her.

But I tell you authoritatively young man or old man, you killed your wife. You  may  not be held liable because there is no dead body with signs of physical abuse but the death began from deep down her heart where no one can see or touch it.

Your attitude, your words ate her up slowly and slowly till with nothing to leave by except your hard words, criticisms and wickedness, she succumbed to the cold hands of death.
This abuse has also led to the untimely death of many women. Everyone knows the women worry more. They care for their children, they worry where the next meal will come from. They worry how they will build a house. They worry and they worry.

Some women I don’t know percentage have been left to bear the financial burden of the home. The man may have once been A VERY RICH MAN like my daughter will say who that one don epp.

So he is living on the past glory of the many watches and cars he bought for her when he was rich.

The man may never have been rich so it has been like that all these years.

Worse now the economic recession is here.

So the men claim that they are confused. Their ego kicks in. They are not ready to stoop low to look for any how job. He needs to maintain his dignity. How can a former MD of a bank now start driving cab?

In their minds the economy suits the woman who can toss her PHD aside and sell Mama Put or start learning how to bake in old age, sew clothes.

Most women labour under this heavy yoke. She is doing any and everything for her family to survive. All she has heard is ‘forget the man, face your children. She forgets she is a PHD holder. She packs up her certificates and puts them into the box. Who PHD don epp.

She becomes a hustler. She is now selling food. She is now supplying weavon and before you know it a 45year old woman is looking 70 because of hardship. By the time her children are ready to reward them, they are sick and sometimes dead!

The men and people provide a scripture for her; which is that all things are working together for her. After all nearing 60 she can even become the next hottest designer.

The man is alright. The scripture does not affect him or it affects him because he has a ‘virtuous woman as a wife. He pretends all is well and lives his life normally because he understands that most women will not be respected because she left as her husband was not helping out. There will be many people to give their lives stories as examples of how the woman can combine financial upkeep of the home with everything else she is doing because they did it.

There he rides joyfully on this culture of silence. So he is still living large while all his bills are paid for him.

Some of the men actually make money but then he has babes that he is funding their education for slices of action now and then and he needs to make them happy. Or his family members who should by now be extended who are now immediate whose needs have to be met first before his biblically accepted immediate family.


To everyone reading this post, while we are discussing domestic abuse, can we please discuss all these other abuses? They are equally as deadly.

Too angry to put no bi small thing!

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