Wednesday, 18 May 2016


I asked a question, ‘how important was money in marriage?’

Before you start telling me about how important love is I know. It is also an issue I will deal with in another season. For now, I shall be dealing with finance.

When I asked this question on my facebook wall before I could catch my breath, a couple of people responded by saying; important while some said very, very important. Not one person said it was not.

The next question I would have loved to ask those who responded that money was important why they said so.

I think I will leave them alone and tell you why I think money in a home is not just important but indispensible.

Research has shown that lack of money has its way of dealing with the best of all marriages founded on love and even God. Lack of money tries everyone’s patience particularly when it is for an extended length of time.

Having been married for 21 years, I have experienced the periods of plenty and the times the money was just not there.

There is something I want to tell you. It does not matter which of the seasons you are passing through, your bills must be paid so you can have ‘peace’.

These bills are not bills you can turn your back and ignore. They are key to your human dignity, happiness, peace and confidence.

Let us mention some of these bills so we can imagine which one we can do without paying; school fees, house rent, telephone bills, electricity bills etc.

Your money might not be prompt in coming but your bills are always on time and on point.

They neither respect persons nor seasons. They no send. They no dey look person for face. They no de care whether you dey cry or you no dey cry. Bills are wired to be selfish and carefree. For me they sometimes appear to be mocking you; they should know you have no money yet they come. The gateman knows you are yet to complete his last month’s salary yet he is bold to stand before you and demand for this month’s salary. The last time you went to buy power for your meter, you reduced from N10,000 to N5,000 yet the meter is running like someone is pursuing it.

These bills unfortunately are not what you can pay with any available thing. The answer to the bills is money.

Let us assume I have a pot of fresh, rich soup and my electricity bill was ready, there is no way I will carry the soup to their office and say, ‘please I just made this soup, take it and release me from the burden of this electricity bill.

In order words the only trade by barter that bills recognize is money. You pay and you have peace.

So the reason why money is important is that it frees you from debt, from that sudden palpitation of the heart when you hear landlord is at the door or the gas has finished or school will be resuming the next day.

Marriage comes with a large measure of responsibility. Courtship is different from marriage. During courtship, it is just the two of you. You eat out most of the times. You are most likely not living together. She comes around and later goes home.

There are no children from the union and wherever the night meets both of you, you can just stay there. In fact when you are even married before the kids come, you can go to friends’ houses just to enjoy a good meal if you do not have money.

Then the children start coming; you employ a nanny; your in laws come either to do something and go or stay for an extended period of time. It is then the man realises that the conversation between them starts and ends with the dreaded word ‘money.’

Let us imagine it.
Sweetheart, the soap is finished. The baby’s milk is gone. The baby’s pampers is remaining only one. I think we have to make more stew. by the way, my aso ebi is with the tailor, help me bring it when you are coming, I need to take baby to the clinic, this sink is leaking, you must call the plumber, I forgot to tell you, the ‘compound people’ said our share of money is N3,000 or we will not have light. Are we still travelling to see our parents?

The demands seem to go on forever.

in a day most couple might talk about love and affection twice that is if they ever do but money is a must even among quarrelling couples!

So how important is money?
As cars are run on fuel.
Gas cooker on gas.
Soup with water.
Bank accounts need regular deposits not to go on dormancy.
Homes are run on money!

End of Part One. Thank you for reading. Stay for Part Two; SHOULD I MARRY FOR MONEY

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