Friday, 18 March 2016


A 21 year old friend of mine had a rude shock; a huge disappointment. Fortunately, I was on hand to talk to her. The more I talked to her the more her hands which were hitherto shaking relaxed.

She had been denied visa to a country that she had been so looking forward to going.

I was happy when I saw her a bit relaxed and even attempted to smile. She genuinely thanked me for being with her at that trying period.

What happened? I only used my life successes and failures to minister to her.
I used my experiences and experiences of other people who were once denied visas who were now travelling everywhere in the world to also console her. I finally used my daughter’s experience to counsel her.

During the last long vacation, my daughter spent a substantial part of it in school. They were preparing for a competition that was going to take place in London with all expenses paid. I was excited for her and for us who didn’t need to pay a dime.

It was supposed to be a three days competition but their visa came the day the competition was to begin thus truncating her dream of travelling to London. But she was later able to travel.

Just as my friend was later given visa.
Experience is not something that can be bought with money. If you have never experienced poverty or hunger or childlessness, no amount of description can ever do it for you.

As I reflected on some of my experiences, I discovered that for some, the pain of what I went through that time was still there in me. However with a benefit of hindsight each of the experiences helped to make me a better person and to shape who I am currently

It has also assisted me in counseling and molding people.

unfortunately a lot of people do not like to use their personal experiences to talk to people.

Don’t let people go around with the feeling that they were the only people suffering a particular thing if you have or know someone who has. Be willing to use your experiences to advise to mentor and to guide.

The older I get the more I realize that good counselors are really those who have walked the path!


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