Sunday, 28 February 2016


I always pride myself that my tears are right under my eyelids and that is the truth.

Though I am naturally strong and have ways of dealing with contentious issues but once in a while in private and sometimes in public, I cry without apologies to anyone.

Last week my daughter saw me crying, she was very upset. ‘Mummy, why are you crying?’

I said to her, ‘something hurt me badly and l cried.’

She asked me, ‘are you alright now?’

I said I was.

She was relieved.

I began to lecture her. Don’t always cry. However, if when you grow up and something hurts you, you can cry to let off steam. It is a way of expressing yourself and is nothing to be ashamed of.

I remember those days when we were young, my mother would beat you and tell you that she does not want to hear you cry. A lot of adults of her  generation did it.

I totally disagree with it. If you beat anyone, there is the likelihood that the thing will pain the person. You must allow the person to cry.

I was once denied a promotion. It was the second promotion in a row and it hurt me badly. That particular year, I had worked really very hard but somehow, my name was omitted on the promotion list.

After crying, I was relieved and I began to work like nothing happened.

A few weeks later, I had an occasion to visit the Head of Human Resources and he said to me in front of a large number of people, ‘I heard you were crying because you were not promoted?’

I said to him, ‘Sir, I did not know I was supposed to be laughing and rejoicing.’

That shut him up instantly and people around him gave me signs that they loved my answer. I can bet he has never looked more stupid in his whole life.

O yes. I do cry sometimes out of frustration and I can tell you from experience that it always helps me. This is what happens when you cry.

1.   You acknowledge that you have a challenge which is weighty. 

2.   You get some relief because it is off your chest. It is also healthy and therapeutic.

3.   You get consoled if you are lucky to have GOOD people around you.(I remember long ago in Lagos, I was in a bus and there was this hold up. the air was choked and it was like I was dying from the fumes, frustrations etc. I began to cry. Everybody began to say sorry to me. One man even added that he wished he could cry like me. They made me feel much better because they cared)

4.   God consoles you in that period of down time.

5.   Solutions come to your inner spirit when you cry because God will not leave you alone. Your pain is His pain.

6.   Crying makes you human and lets you know that there is a higher force you can look up to.

So I say to you, if you have to cry, cry. But remember to rise from the ashes of your tears to move ahead and forge on.

We must understand that so long as you live on Earth, once in a while, you will be faced with challenges that will make you cry.


1 comment:

Unknown said...

Yes...o it gives you a release once you let them out