Friday, 4 March 2016

OPEN LETTER TO OUR HUSBANDS PART 2




We continue with our letter to you as we have more time after clearing the dishes and washing up.

That brings us to the next issue of macho. You are feeling like a macho and things are happening right under your nose. Your money is not enough but you consider yourself too ‘exalted’ to serve people richer than you. Yes, you have carried your macho image for so long and it has   earned you nothing.


Let me tell you the world has sold many lies to us; one of which was that the economy favours women because the kind of available jobs sometimes are things only women can do. Do you believe that? That was the same lie they sold to us that we are only ‘oriaku’ that we do not have to work at all. That all we need is to have our husbands provide for us.

But our lovely husbands, when we came and found that it was not the situation, did we not change? We changed and put on a hustling mode to assist you but hey whereas only a few of you understood that the world has sold you lies and changed.

For example, we saw one of you in the market the other day cooking and serving rice in a ‘mama put’ fashion. We saw another one prepare indomine with vegetables used in preparing salad. We are very sorry that you have to find out this way, we ordered and ate.
It was where we learnt that innovation of frying indomine for best results and using vegetables for best results.

Some men have recognized that the dance has changed and without anyone telling them also changed their dance steps. Yet our husbands, some of you still want to be the same macho man found in the olden days.

Yes. The men; our fore, fore fathers very wise quickly made the laws to suit them. How lovely they found polygamy, where they could be able to have as many wives as possible to give them satisfaction in different ways.

Not enough, they also told themselves they could add concubines on top. Was that not the way they became wives in the first place? They were first concubines?

O they made laws that forbade them from entering the kitchen.

Do you blame them? The heat in the kitchen can drive anyone mad.

They allocated themselves the juiciest part of chicken. Only the gizzard was good enough for them. Thank God they now sell gizzards in packs and therefore we can genuinely have a taste of it. If not as females we would have died without knowing what gizzard tasted like.

O those our lovely men of those days made laws saying that they did not need to do certain demeaning jobs. They were for women; the sweeping of the compound; cooking meals; bathing the baby. They were in power and in control.

They passed these laws, traditions and customs from generation to generation until it got to our turn. Then Christianity came with all its messages on love and submitting one to another and our poor husbands you became very confused.

Do you act like the men, God would have loved. You know those humble men that will wash the feet of their wives and children (signifying cooking and cleaning) or do they follow traditions of their fathers who did none of those.

That was where the problem was and dear husbands you people did the most absurd thing we still see people doing today; pick and choose.

How?

You chose the ones that you loved and discarded the others. You decided to allow the women work instead of being housewives. You decided to allow us contribute financially in the home.

But you refused to shift ground. You decided that you still had to maintain your manliness; no cooking, sweeping, bathing, babies; nothing that will affect your macho image.

So you continue to sit like your fathers but this time thank God for television. You cross your leg and watch UEFA and scream while glancing at the kitchen door to make sure your food is coming.

Sometimes you yell our names to close the door as the heat and smell were ‘entering’ into the sitting room.

You request for some meat while you wait for the real food. Sometimes you keep busy with a bottle of soda and some peanuts while you wait.

It does not occur to you to come into the kitchen and help out and cook along with me so the food will be faster in coming and the bonds will be tighter.

Our dear husbands since you agree that the times have changed, you must learn to go to market and buy the groceries. Did we hear you shout, God forbid. No our dear husbands nothing is forbidden. Remember that your scripture, you can do all things through Christ who strengthens you. Yes husband doing those things those menial things are also included in this not just difficult things like skydiving.

THE END

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