Saturday, 27 February 2016

WHEN YOU ARE NOT AFFIRMED



A favourite subject of mine which I talk about is affirmation. Everyone likes to be affirmed.

The married woman yearns for her husband's affirmation which is always like icing on the cake.


I love it when my husband appreciates me but l don’t lobby for it neither do I expect it because it can be frustrating and disappointing if it does not come.

Many times a few women fall into the hands of men who do not affirm them. The reasons might be any or more of this;

·        He might not know how to express himself never mind that when he wants to eat, he knows how to demand for it. 

·        He may just be plain ignorant about how these things work.

·        He may come from a house where it was all criticism for him and did not learn how affirmation works. 

·        He might be jealous of his wife.

·        He might just be a sadist.


What should a woman who has found herself under this condition do?

·        She should be careful not to develop inferiority complex. This is exactly what will happen to her if she dwells on the lack of affirmation from her husband.

·        She has to be focused, be active, and be productive so she has less time to dwell on thoughts of what was done or not done to her or how she would have loved to be treated.

·        She must find ways of affirming herself. She must know that she can only be put down, if she allows herself to be put down. The woman should look at herself in the mirror after she has dressed up and affirm herself. She can say things like, ‘this babe, you are a fine gal. You just look sweet and takeaway.’

·        When you finish cooking, you can do like I do; taste the food and pass your judgment; ‘this your food is so tasty.’



·        Don’t stop at your dress and food; affirm yourself in everything. You can emulate me. Everything I am doing is good. My book is good, the story I am writing is good.  My children are good. I am a good MC. I am a superb Public Speaker. My comedy is superb. The word ugly or unfit is missing from my dictionary.


·        Secondly appreciate and affirm all the people around you. That way in turn, they will also appreciate and affirm you.

On a final note, to be correct in your assessment of yourself, you must work hard at doing those things right. Learn to cook well. Spend time writing your book, practice your speaking so well that you become very good. That way when you affirm yourself, you will not be lying or deceiving yourself!

Do you affirm yourself?

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